Celebrity suicides in the therapy room: why they feel relevant for the rest of us

I watched an episode of Parts Unknown last night where Anthony Bourdain jokes about hanging himself if he has to work with a poorly made stove. Oof. In case you haven’t heard, the culinary adventure show host committed suicide by hanging a month ago, to much horror and confusion. This came on the heels of news of the suicide of fashion designer Kate Spade. Celebrity status seems to be the pinnacle of both professional achievement and social validation. Faced with the evidence that famous people also suffer from despair, many of us may need to reconceptualize our own definition of happiness.

“I keep thinking about Bourdain,” another client said to me this week, over a month after the chef's passing. When these deaths happen many of my clients want to talk about it, a lot. And the most common reaction is, “If they could have all that and still not have anything to live for, what does this say about me?” In fact, it’s well-documented that when a popular entertainer commits suicide, suicide rates rise in the general population.  

Fabulous success cannot save you from the existential void. Ok, so then what? Without going down the rabbit hole of happiness research, life satisfaction is an amalgam of different conditions: the core of which are rich relationships, meaningful pursuits that connect with one’s values, and regular self-care of body and mind. These mundane pieces of the good life might become harder to prioritize as a spotlit career picks up. In fact, celebrities have higher rates of suicide than the general population.  

Many of my clients struggle with perfectionism and high standards of achievement. When someone like Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, or Robin Williams kills themselves despair can set in, or a veil can lift. The realizations at stake are: (1) that there is no period in life in which one does not have to struggle, and (2) that is fine.

Throughout history happiness has been conceptualized as a bird that alights and flies away or a ray of sunshine, to be bestowed at nature’s whim. Perhaps the nature of happiness is  more mundane and complicated than that—more like a garden than a bird. Happiness exists when multiple factors come together for a time, but rarely stays that way without regular observation and tending. Personally, I find this heartening. Few of us can win Academy Awards. Nearly all of us can find a piece of the world and some people in it that we care for.

References and Notes

Bourdain, Anthony. Parts Unknown Season 01 Episode 04, “Quebec.” Originally aired May 5, 2013. Available at http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1305/05/abpu.02.html

Niederkrotenthaler, T., King-wa, F., Yip, P, Fong, D., Stack, S., Cheng, Q., & Pirkis, J. (2012.) Changes in suicide rates following media reports on celebrity suicide: a meta-analysis. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, 66 (11), pp. 1037-1042.

As far as diving down the rabbit hold of happiness research, maybe some other time...but if you’re looking for a quick fix Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project is both fun and comprehensive.

Image credit to flickr/Peabody Awards, CC BY-SA